It sits in a basement,
Isolated from its 10 million twin brothers
It is controlled with arm movements
Displaying all games possible
Football, shooting, skateboarding, and superheroes
Wanted for so long, and finally have it
7th century gaming technology, rivalling XBOX and Sony
The 5th of Nintendo bringing a new revolution of game play
So sophisticated in its white outfit
Sensing all movements,
Being used everyday
Until the 6th of Nintendo
10 comments:
thats pretty intense, kinda dull though (the topic) the structure is good though
the topic is the best part
I think this poem is a great martian poem
I like how yo u talked about the fact that the wii has many brothers in other houses alsomst like a living
pet
Its good how you refer like a toy that will soon be a nothing when the nintendo 6
its like ametaphor its almost self explanitory
reid
ye dawg
reid and eric do u guys hav any feedback to hepl me change the poem at all?
hey alex
first do u like my blog???
Its pretty good is has some air words but not many. Some of the parts dont make sense such as "Until the 6th of nintendo." I dont think the line "Ninendo bringing a new revolution of gameplay," is needed but instead you could talk about what the wii does.
Sam
Alex I really like your poem i like thae part where it says away from 10 million other brothers because it shows that there are many wii's in the world but there is just 1. I dont see any air words, but i think you could shorten some of the lines into somthing more complex but just shorter like use better words and try to make people think when they read your poem.
i really like your poem.
scott
SAM your blog is pretty sweeeeet
the 6th of nintendo is the next system Nintendo makes....n64, gamecube, wii....the WII was te fifth system and the 6th will still be better
and ya if we get the chance to edit poems i will go into more depth
thnks...
SCOTT
I'm going to choose not to use your comment even though it is still valid. i feel that i should be the poem longer, and to add more detail to it.
but i will use better words :)
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